Who you callin’ smooth?

Not too long ago, I saw an article that claimed whiskey should not be referred to as smooth. I gave it a cursory once-over, and dismissed it. “These are the same whiskey snobs who get offended if someone asks for an ice cube”, I thought. Whiskey has become more popular, even trendy. An unfortunate downside of this is that wherever you find a trend, you find elitism.

Whenever something becomes fashionable, there will always be people who acquire some knowledge, some experience, then proclaim themselves to be experts, looking down upon anyone with less knowledge and experience than they have.

At the begining of this month, Glenmorangie released their 15 year old Cadboll Estate. In one post, someone refered to it as smooth. In another post, someone asked a friend if it was smooth. In both cases, the same person called them out, in ALL CAPS no less, for using that word. I remembered the article that I mentioned earlier, and I was intrigued.

What is it about this word that suddenly has people so triggered? Surely, I thought, we’ve all refered to a whiskey as smooth. There are certainly enough products that aren’t smooth to make it a valid comparison. I had to investigate.

The arguments against the term go like this:
⦁ It’s what college students use to describe anything that isn’t the bottom shelf garbage they’re used to drinking.
⦁ It’s too vague. There are several factors that make a whiskey (or other spirit) smooth. Learn them and use more precise language to describe what you’re drinking.
⦁ Sweetness can make something seem more smooth. A wheated Bourbon may seem smooth, while the spicy flavor of a high rye bourbon may “burn”. Taking advantage of this “sweeter is smoother” perception, some lower end products may add sweeteners to make their product more drinkable.
⦁ Something that is distilled to a higher proof may seem more smooth, since it has fewer congeners (byproducts of distillation that can add different flavors to the new make spirit), but it will have less flavor.
⦁ Conversely, something that is bottled at a lower proof will have less alcohol burn (usually described as “heat”), and will seem smoother.
⦁ Smooth does not mean good. Flavor and character are more important than something that “goes down easy”.

All of these arguments point to one thing. For those against it, using that word speaks to a lack of experience. Like the college student, maybe you’re only used to drinking low quality whiskey. Or maybe you lack the knowledge to describe what’s in your glass with more specific terms.

Indeed, I found several sources that advised against using the word in discussing whiskey. Use it, they say, and you will identify yourself as a novice. Utter that word in the wrong company, and you will be judged harshly by those in the know.

To all of this I say “so what?” Is being inexperienced really so awful? Every professional, every expert, everyone, was a newcomer at one point.

If I meet someone with more experience than me, I want to learn from them. That’s not going to happen if I try to trick them into thinking I know more than I do. I’ve proudly started more than one conversation with “I’m new to this, but I want to learn more”.

And if I meet someone with less experience, I want to teach them. I want to pass on what I’ve learned. I’m not going to look down on someone or dismiss them because they’re just starting out. I was there once, too. Welcome. Let me help you find your way. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do. Knowledge, like whiskey, is best when shared.

So go ahead and describe that brown liquid in your glass as smooth. I won’t judge you. And if anyone does, look them in the eye and say “I’d rather be a novice than a snob”.